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> Entry: 1/03/24

Thoughts on the "Tumblr Sexyman" trope, and how almost everyone gets it wrong.

You know those [mostly] skinny white boys in suits that completely dominated the internet during the 2010s? Do the names "The Onceler", "Bill Cipher", "Sans Undertale", "Nagito Komaeda", "Wheatley", "Tony The Talking Clock", and [that hazbin hotel cunt that I do not respect enough to mention by name] ring a bell?

These characters are a couple of staple figures under the infamous "Tumblr Sexyman" trope, that's been floating around for a good couple of years. Now, getting on with my point.

Despite how I've introduced them, Tumblr Sexymen are not all just defined by being twinks in suits. If that were the case, there would be thousands of those freaks in that category, when in reality, there are only 10 true sexymen max. You could maybe expand it to 15-20 if you're being generous, but that will be all.

Why bring something like this up? you might ask. Well it's pretty simple really, I have mega turbo autism for Tumblr Sexymen, and I am constantly seeing people misunderstand that trope to the point where it makes my blood boil. You know how it is. So I figured, why not write an article on it? To get all of my rage-fueled thoughts out about it all?

And I know it sounds a bit silly to be doing all this for something that is seen as a joke/not taken seriously by the general public, but again, you know how autism can be.

Firstly, let's start off by listing what a Tumblr Sexyman is NOT. A Tumblr Sexyman is not just the average popular male blorbo of the week. Even if they're a twink in a suit, or have people thirsting over them like no tomorrow, they still do not count. I have seen this happen many times with characters that are much more recent and relevant, and every time their popularity ends up dying out at the speed of light to the point where it was almost like they weren't anything at all.

When you compare this to what I like to call "sexymen proper", such as The Onceler, Bill Cipher and Komaeda, who are all over a decade old and still have thriving fanbases, you can already tell the internet has changed a whole lot since these three were at their peak popularity. Newer characters barely seem to get over a year in the spotlight before another freak comes around and steals it from them! And don't even get me started on how important the time period is when it comes to defining a sexyman. Back in the day [2012 - 2015] on Tumblr it was almost impossible to escape what I like to call "Twink Hysteria", as almost everyone and their mother on that site were obsessed with conventionally attractive white men.

Nowadays, while people still care for twinks, it is no where near as bad as it was in the 2010s, and fandom culture as a whole have come to collectively appreciate a much more diverse range of characters. This is one crucial aspect to why sexymen proper are no longer born.

Another huge aspect of the sexyman curse is the non-humanism of it all. You know that good ol' "you're attracted to WHAT???" response? That was always one of the defining traits of a Tumblr Sexyman, which is one thing I will always agree with. None of these characters are actually traditionally "sexy". They were never meant to be conventionally attractive minus The Onceler [This is kind of a stretch but if you compare him to his original 1972 design, you can kiiind of see it?], but he was patient zero so he gets a pass. The amount of times i've seen people call actually attractive men "sexymen" over just a regular sexy man has me wanting to eat drywall. You're hurting those poor guys by doing this.

On that note, the Tumblr Sexyman label is not a badge of honour, you do not want your blorbo to be parading that around I promise you. Characters that are known as Tumblr Sexymen did not get there through positive experiences i'll say that much. Because all of their fanbases were absolutely rabid in the bad way.

Also, Take look at my friends Wheatley, Tony, Bill Cipher [again], and Sans Undertale. They aren't skinny white guys, 3 of them are shapes, one of them is a skeleton, that is bones. They are not conventionally attactive at all, and yet, people were utterly obsessed with them and lusted over them to an insane degree. Those shapes in particular just happened to come to fruition between the years of 2011 and 2012, when twink hysteria season was booming like never before, and so, their iconic twink gijinkas were born. [If you don't know what they look like, a quick google search will do the trick!]

This is all due to one simple thing; Fandom Bias. Once you consider that, you begin to learn that it's not all just about appearance when it comes to Tumblr Sexymen, but rather their fandom's collective respective perception of them.

And while Sans had just barely made it out of twink season with Undertale dropping in 2015, and people much prefering his original self with his angst dial turned up a notch, he got hit with one of the worst cases of fandom favouritism known to man. It was Onceler Fandom levels crazy, take a look at all of those Sans AUs and tell me there wasn't some clear bias towards him over 90% of all other Undertale characters at the time. Those rabid fangirls of him too! Can't forget that time period of the internet when hundreds of 12 year olds would threaten to kill eachother over this fictional skeleton. And you know what? I understand them, but that's not the point here at all.

I feel like I should also note that because of Sans, pretty much all tropes within the Tumblr Sexyman label become invalid, as his existence alone completely obliterates almost all of them. He's not skinny, he doesn't wear formal wear, he doesn't appear young, he isn't a villain. He's just some guy. [These are based on one of the most popular sexyman checklists for reference]

Now that I think about it, Komaeda is sort of the middle ground between all of this. He's not attractive in the traditional sense but he's still considered a twink. He is known for wearing a shitty fuckass jacket and seeming like a regular guy before he reveals to everyone that hm. Yeah alright this guy's got something going on. Not quite a villain but an antagonist for sure. He, like Sans , is very much an anomaly to this trope, but he still counts nontheless. He thrived on Tumblr like a parasite, and while you didn't see people outright thirst for him, he still changed the internet as a whole with everyone and their mother no doubles kinning him. There is so much I could say about Komaeda when it comes to this that It honestly deserves it's own article in the future. We'll see though.

"Tumblr Sexyman tropes were a lie. Let's go get high" - My buddy Oleander.

This also makes it so the true definition of a Tumblr Sexyman becomes nearly impossible to define, this whole article is me purely speculating based on what makes the most sense between all of the characters involved with Tumblr Sexymen.

Even with that being said, it still pisses me off deeply whenever people claim blorbo67 is a sexyman because it is automatically clear to me that they have not done even a bit research on what truly makes a sexyman. And no, the sexypedia is not at all an accurate resource, with it being open source and allowing literally anyone to submit whatever blorbo they want as long as it gets 10+ likes on their poorly moderated discussion forum. That website used to be a little more accurate back in the day [2020] when my friend owned it and there was a proper respectable mod team but ever since it's ownership got transferred it's just completely gone down the shitter.

All of this adds up into why there's only a small number of those sexymen freaks running around, as opposed to what the general public is told to believe. It's why even though there are hundreds of male fan favourite characters, most if not all are still not eligible for the sexyman label.

I don't expect any of this to change your view on this highly nonsensical topic, but I hope you recall it whenever you see someone call a random guy a sexyman in 2024. I should also note, the only character in recent years that has come close to fitting the true criteria is Spamton for further reference. My friends who also have been studying this internet phenomenon for years all agree and were honestly surprised to see Spamton fans still alive and kicking after most characters in this day and age dying off after a few months, as I mentioned before. 80& of the Spamton fans that didn't get chased off want him carnally and I personally think it's really funny.

Before I wrap it up, one of the only fun things about Tumblr Sexymen is it gives me an excuse to draw those guys hanging out in situations without anyone questioning it. [This pisses me off beyond belief. You hate fun you hate whimsy if you do this. Crazy crossover shit I love you forever okay?] I suggest giving it a go with drawing all your favorite characters regardless of where they're from together, It is so so fun. I promise.

^by yours truly